Motivation is lacking.

Right now I should be doing school. I'm not sure why I'm not other then I can bring myself to open the book. All I need to do tonight is start reading, but because I don't want to I doubt I'll retain anything. I find myself preoccupied, and really I'm not even sure with what. Today was an OK day, not the greatest, but ok. I don't have anything really bothering me. I just can't concentrate. Sometimes I wonder what am I doing it all for? A piece of paper? or just to be able to say "I did it!".  I'm not saying I want to quit (although I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't crossed my mind).

The kids are all basically the same. Some days are good days, others are not. We all have those days. I wonder sometimes about the thought process of their little brains. I wonder how they process information, and how they make the decisions that they do. Sometimes will all the work we put into teaching them right from wrong, when they make bad choices it's hard not to be disappointed. I guess that's how they learn though.

Baby is still not walking, but we still cloth diaper, and she's still breastfed. Each day starts out with trying to figure out what she will eat. I guess this is the beginning of the picky toddler stage. I don't remember liking this stage when the older two were younger. I don't think I like it any better now.  Some days I wish she were walking, others I'm thankful she's not. She's into enough stuff now, without being able to run and get into things.

Both the older two are doing better in school this year (so far). Time will tell if that will continue or not. Tyler's teacher actually has a blog, where she posts the kids homework. That way when I ask what's for homework, I have a way to double check if he's being honest or not when he tells me what he has for homework.

Why is it always easier to write about what's going on here, then it is to write about a topic that you've done research on? Even if it's a topic that I find remotely interesting, it's always easier to blog.

I haven't felt much like cleaning up... although I do. I guess it's time I find a hobby. Something I can do for me, that I think is fun. That could be easier said then done. I have to have something that I can do, to give me a break from the chaos. Something that isn't school, or TV, or reading. Something that exercises the creative part of me.

I have a break from school from half way through November till the beginning of January. I think that during that time (on top of holiday stuff) I'll try and find something for me!!