=( *Edited*

Do you ever feel like the carrot is always out of reach? That whenever you think you've caught a break, you realize it's another obstacle standing in your way? That there is a ceiling between where you are and where you want to be, that you just can't get past. I think we all have days where we feel like that. Like no matter what we do we are still stuck, in the same place or town away from where we need to be.

Getting a break means fighting hard. Harder maybe then you've ever fought before. It's making a change or accepting one that was given to you. My Grandma worked hard every day to make a living, even when she was going through treatment. I went up and helped her, so she wouldn't work quite so hard. I went up and stayed with her when I was in school and she felt so awful she wanted someone there at night incase something happened. My Mom works just as hard every day, to make a living. She helps everyone near and dear to her, if she can, and rarely takes time for herself. Once she finally does get time she's doing stuff around the house, or collapsing in exhaustion. My Mom has fought, and won so far to date her life's biggest battle. My Grandma fought and fought, till she decided she didn't want to fight anymore. She waits for peace as she continues to struggle with a battle she knows she's losing. Anxiously waiting to leave this world.

I realized after writing this, I left someone out. My Aunt Shelley, she's worked hard over the last 2 years taking care of my Grandma every day. Watching her struggles, feeling her pain, something that isn't easy. This is something that no one can even begin to understand unless they have gone through it every single day. Now she struggles with pain and anger as she soon has to say goodbye to her Mom. I can't even imagine what this is like. My hats off to her for how strong she has been through this long and hard journey.

This experience has been hard on everyone involved, but mostly because we haven't been able to fix it. It's hard not being able to be there every day, but it's hard also being there every day.

How do you deal with knowing you may not wake up when you go to sleep? How do you say goodbye when you don't want to?

I think this week has been the most difficult as far as concentration is concerned. I can't seem to focus long enough to get anything done.

Update/Tears

I started a blog entry earlier today, but never got a chance to finish it. Kaylee ended up waking up, and the kids got home from school. Speaking of Kaylee she is sick again. Running a fever or who knows what, I'll check that out in the morning. In the meantime she is asleep under the influence of Infants Advil.

Julie fell asleep on the couch, I'm pretty sure her and her brother were reading. I was trying to finish up my last two work orders. No school for me tonight, so I'm extra screwed the rest of the week. Awesome huh? Story of my life until school is over I've decided. I've marked the calendar for May 12th, that is my freedom date for this years classes. What I was all excited about in my previous blog, that I never got the chance to post, was that I have new tech. So finally no more fear of worrying that one morning I'm going to wake up and my computer just isn't going to work.

Today was the kids third day with no TV after school. They've only asked twice, once was to watch a family movie(I was proud I didn't give in). The second time was to play the Wii, Just Dance (I didn't give in to that either). I've decided the kids concentrate better on their homework when they know they can't watch TV. Tyler hasn't had to call home once this week so far. He even seems happier, and is a little easier to deal with.

_Subject Change - below this line.
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When we leave this world how do we know we've left our mark? How do we know we will be remembered? Our loved ones will have memories and photos, their children will have photos and hopefully stories. The women in my family are stubborn. I'm proud of that. We get something in our mind and that's that. My Grandma Fullam taught me that a woman should let no man run her life. She might not realize it, but she plays a strong role in who I am today. She never let anyone stand in her way, and if she felt it was wrong she spoke up and spoke up loud. She's always been there even if I didn't think I could call her. Oh how I wish I hadn't been so stubborn, but I learn from the best right? My Mom is the same way, her and Grandma have had their share of fights going stretches without talking. I guess being stubborn runs in the blood. I am going Monday to have to say Goodbye to this sweet woman. As I type it, my throat knots up, I wish I could cash in all the time wasted. I always struggle wanting to fix everything. I hope she recognizes me still. I hope she knows how very much I love her, and how very much the time I spent with her means to me. She's not gone yet, but everyone says they don't know when, and it won't be long. I wish she didn't have to go, but I don't want her to have to suffer anymore.

Tattoo/Brief Update.

In the previous post you'll find pictures of my new tattoo. The top one where the frog is green is the finished product. She did a fantastic job, and I LOVE IT! It is a little sore today, but she said to have it feel like a sunburn combined with a scrape.  It wasn't bad this morning, can't wait till it's all healed up!

Here it is again, yet another Friday. I can't even begin to explain how much I wanted to stay in bed this morning. Come to find out I could have, the kids didn't have their get up and go thing at school. I got up anyway, the baby was mad. Things are slow here today, I have to get ready for the two PartyLite shows I'm doing today and tomorrow, and I also have to get back into my school site a little.

I have my new Macbook on it's way, we decided to order it before my school money came in. The Macbook I'm using now is on it's way out, and could stop working any day. I can't have that happen especially with school.

It's quiet in the house right now. The only sound I hear is the sound of the dryer, laundry is the reason I'm not napping right now. Well back to being productive, or at least attempting to be. I hope everyone enjoys their Friday!

Kids Update.

The older kids reluctantly went to school this morning. Although my husband says that Julie put on quite the show to try and convince him she couldn't go. What little girl has yet to realize is that we see through her pretend drama. She's not quite a seasoned actor yet. Kaylee seems to be feeling better today, although by the way she's been sleeping lately you wouldn't think she was. To bed around 7pm up around 9 or 10pm to nurse, back to bed then up again anywhere between 2:30 and 3:30am then she's back to bed till around 7am. I'm not sure why all of a sudden she's back to getting up a couple of times a night, but as the one that gets up with her, I have to say I don't like it. I'll give her another week to feel back to herself, before I start trying to figure out why she's not sleeping the same. That is of course if she hasn't reverted back to her usual sleep schedule. I have to say I miss my sleep, but it's not so hard on me when my awesome husband lets me sleep in during the week. I'm not sure where my sanity would be without that man, he's the best.

Sitting here with my coffee next to me listening to Kaylee over the baby monitor babbling to herself. She is down for her first nap, although she takes this opportunity to practice her vocal skills. I think she is going through another large change. I say this because she's very temper-mental lately. She whines a lot, I think because she's frustrated. She wants to crawl so bad, but just isn't there yet. So she gets very frustrated with her limitation very easily, of course it doesn't help that she's a little lazy butt. 

I have today and tomorrow to finish a weeks worth of school work. Let's see if I can do it. I have so much going on Thursday, Friday and Saturday that Sunday will be the last time I'll have time to touch my school stuff and I have things due Wednesday and Sunday. I hate to leave things to the last minute, because then I get all stressed out about it, and have a hard time focusing on getting it done.

Sometimes I wonder what life is like for those people that don't go to school on top of taking care of a family. What just taking care of a family feels like. I was there at one point in time, but was under so much stress I don't remember what it was like. If it's like my summers are, oh how I would love that all the time. I'm stubborn though and refuse to let go of a dream just because that would be the easier thing to do. To some a degree is just a piece of paper, to me it's a sign of accomplishment. It's a reason for me to be proud of myself. I'm proud of myself know, but really I haven't accomplished much in the work place. I want a specific job, and that specific job requires a degree. Sometimes it's difficult to keep that in focus, especially with everything going on around me. It's something I have to remind myself of every time I sit down to do homework, this is going to add up to something.

I also hope that the older kids see me doing school and take from that the importance of education. Tyler is struggling with being responsible, because being lazy and doing what he wants he thinks is easier. I have people telling me that I need to monitor more of his homework, and make sure it gets done. You know what? He's 10 and can do his whole homework load in 15-20mins every day excluding reading. There are times he sits down and does it all with no issues. There are times he lies and says he has none, because he would rather play xbox. I've devised a plan to help him, without me having to micromanage his afternoons. If Monday or Tuesday he doesn't turn in all his homework at school then he misses his Wednesday music lesson. If Thursday or Friday he doesn't do it, he'll miss yet another music lesson. He is a smart boy, he just needs to learn a little responsibility. So I'm teaching him that if he doesn't do his studies, his extra curricular music lesson will be taken away. If that doesn't motivate him to get his studies done, he'll loose the xbox/TV time on the weekdays. The kids know we are available to help if they have issues with their homework.  Also everyday I ask them what they have for homework, and I always ask if they are going to need help. It's not like I'm uninvolved. I'm just not going to be checking his backpack all the way through high school and if I don't teach him responsibility now that's what'll happen.

Sadly I can't make everyone happy, like usual, I just do what feels right, and what I think is best. That's all we can do while raising our children right?

Sickness and Update.

All the kids are sick. It started Saturday with the baby spiking a fever of 102.8. Then later that day Julie had a low grade fever. Kaylee continued to have a fever off and on Sunday and had a low grade one this morning. Tyler and Julie had fevers of 101.8 and 101.9 this morning. They are both coughing, so Jon decided to keep them home from school, since I was still in bed. I'm very lucky he lets me sleep in on the week days when he can. I didn't get up till almost 9am, so I feel great, while everyone else in the house feels less then their best. That advantage will wear off as the day goes on. I have school to do today, tomorrow and Wednesday. Thursday I get my tattoo, Friday I have a show for work, and Saturday I have another show for work. 

I am both excited and nervous for Thursday. This will be my first tattoo, but it's one I've wanted for a long time. Since 2005 or 2006, I have also partially designed a family tattoo that both Jon and I will get eventually. 

May 11th is officially the last day of my school year this year. I'm ready for summer again. Ready for the break, and the quality time with my family. 

Kaylee was up to 3 solid meals a day, when one day she started fighting ever solid meal we tried to give her. Jon and I talked about it, and decided to put her back on two times a day. She is now eating the two solid meals better then she was 3. Her pediatrician wanted me to push solids more, but she's just not ready. I would rather her happily eat them twice a day, then have it be a fight to get her to eat them. She still nurses plenty, so I know she isn't lacking in nutrition. If what we are doing is working why try and fix something that isn't broken?  

We had a relaxing weekend. Jon's cousin Mariah was up Friday and Saturday night. She's such a help, and a joy to have around. Although she needs to work on making decisions lol (Love you Mariah). Can't wait to hopefully have her up again in April for a concert she wants to go to. 

Well I guess while the baby is napping I should try and get some school done. I hope everyone has a great day!

Birthday Reflections.

Today has always been a day of reflection. Looking back on past birthdays, and all the fun things I've done. Looking back on past years and being thankful and proud of how far I have come. I'm 29 this year. The past two birthdays have been great! I got to celebrate my day surrounded by family and loved ones.  This day isn't just important to me it is my Mom too!! Thank you Mom for making this day special for me, I'm sure it was a special day for you as well! I've had birthday's with big parties, and I've had birthday's alone. The best birthday's I can remember are the quiet ones, where I can relax and celebrate being alive.

I go for my first tattoo consultation today. I'm very excited! That is my birthday present from my Hubby. Getting my first tattoo. Oh and he took the day off to spend it with me.  I think later we are supposed to go out for supper and then maybe for a few drinks. A night out is the break that I've needed. He always knows just the right thing to get me.

The baby is teething and gave me an early present early this morning at about 2am, she decided to stay up and whine and cry off and on for 90 minutes before going back to sleep after a feeding. I'm hoping the older two will get me a day with out their arguing. Lately between them it has been non-stop, as they try and figure out what they like and who they are as individuals.

Well I'm off to enjoy my day. I hope everyone enjoys theirs! Happy St. Patrick's Day! To all those that have wished me a Happy Birthday, Thank you very much.

Chaotic Morning

This morning in the Moses house was an interesting one. Julie comes in and wakes me up, "Mommy do we have school today?" So in a sleepy daze I poke my husband (who usually gets up with them) to ask if they have school today. He get's up and looks out the window to find that it isn't snowing, and then he checks the clock to see it's 7:10am. It was chaos for 10 minutes getting them sorted to get out and catch the bus that usually comes between 20 and 25 after 7. They made it, and thank goodness their school has a breakfast program.

With the time change everyone here is all screwed up. We go to bed later because it doesn't feel as late, but getting up in the more you'd need a crane to get us up. Kaylee has started to get up in the middle of the night around 3-3:30am and she eats, plays her in bed for a little bit and then goes back to sleep. She hasn't been getting up till 7 or so. Yesterday she didn't get up till 8am, both of us were floor, she's never slept that late.

Today I dig deep down inside to find motivation for school. I just don't have it right now, maybe later?

Kaylee, Almost 7 Months.

My littlest baby is getting so big!! She weights 19lbs 1oz and is 28 inches long. I always remember when the other kids were young them promoting solids less. They wanted breast milk or formula to be their primary source of nutrition until a year old. Kaylee eats solids twice a day. Once in the morning which is 2oz of fruit  and then at night she eats 2tbsps rice cereal, 2tbsps oatmeal usually made with 2oz breast milk and then 2oz of a veggie. Some days this of course varies. She was having trouble pooping so I cut her solids back (I know tmi). We tried offering her diluted juice and all it did was cause her to spit up. So we bagged that idea, we had tried prunes before and she ummm hated those. So we rely on the foods she eats. The doctor said today  that I should push solids more with her. I have mixed feelings about this. Why push a child to grow up? She is going through a stage where some days I'm lucky if if can get her to eat her tiny little 2oz of fruit in the morning. Some times she gobbles it down. She still nurses 5 to 6 times a day even with her solids, and rarely in the middle of the night. I have to say I think tonight was the first time in awhile that she was even a little eager to eat her solids. She tried Turkey for the first time tonight. Maybe she's just bored eating the same thing over and over in a different order.

Just ordered a bunch of Earth's Bests dinners and grain combos, to try stuff with her to decide what she likes. I hate to make a bunch of something to find out it's something she hates. Hoping to get some ideas of things she really likes to give her a little more variety in what she eats. Since the doc seems to want me to push solids, but I just don't get why. She nurses fine, and is in the 90th percentile for all areas of her growth. I think I'm just going to do what feels right. She likes a pacifier, and didn't even really cry until the 3rd shot today.  She's such a strong girl. She's hard to make laugh though, if you do the same thing enough she gets bored with you, and whatever you are doing is no longer funny.

It amazes me how time changes the standards, and recommendations for young children. No solids before this this age, and now they are introducing meats at 7 months? Seems a little early, but I guess all I can do is follow what they tell me right? I was always under the understanding that meats weren't to be introduced until 9 months. It's hard to know what to do, and what's right for your child. With how Kaylee ate tonight with something new in the mix, I'd have to say I think she is ready for more variety.

Children/Loss/Life/Values

Most of the people I know, have children. Most of the people I know have been lucky, and had healthy children. There are so many people that don't get lucky. They are met with the devastating reality of children passing away before their time. Either from birth defects, unknown causes, or the silent killer SIDS. Everyday I hold my babies tight (yes, even my older ones) because tomorrow is never promised. I don't ever want to have to bury a child. Accidents are accidents because they can't be predicted. They can be prevented, but not always. As parents we love our children, most parents love their children more then their own lives. Many parents that have lost a child, ask why? why my baby? this loss does not dissipate with time. Everyday is a struggle and a battle to go on without this little person that you thought would always be there. Bonding begins from conception, because you share the same space with this little person, for however long you are given. Some people are lucky to be given years and years, others mere weeks or months.

For those that are fed up with their children for behavioral reasons. For those at their wits end, be thankful you have children. Be thankful they are healthy and alive. There are people out there that struggle to conceive and carry a child to fullterm.

I do also have friends that have suffered a loss. I have friends that have children that due to their genetic disorder are one of the lucky ones to have survived.

In our busy lives sometimes we forget the struggles of others. We forget the value of life, and how very precious it is. Old or young, child, mother, grandmother we are all loved by someone. I've had friends that have taken their own lives. I ask you what does death fix? In this life it doesn't fix anything, but bring others to the shattering reality that they won't ever see you again. I can't even begin to understand why anyone would do that. Love brings us closer to those that mean the most. Communication, so others know how we feel, so there are no more lost souls to feeling like they are all alone. To those with illness, fighting a losing battle, stay strong WE LOVE YOU and respect you more than words can say. You fight a battle that most people aren't strong enough to handle. That you still wake up, smile, laugh, enjoy good food, and live is a testament to all those fighting. Don't give up. To those that have lost the fight, we miss you, love you, and think of you daily.

My husband chuckles at me every night when I have to check on our almost seven month old before I go to bed. I know how prevalent SIDS has become. I always have a bad feeling that is relieved by knowing she is alright. Does that make me paranoid? or am I just a concerned parent? There are people that do everything right, that still suffer the loss of their child.

What of those parents that never call their kids. The babies that result from one night stands, who's Daddy's don't even know their name. What of the babies that their mothers are addicted to drugs, and leave them in a trash can because they need to go find their next drug fix. Our society doesn't value children anymore like they should. Our country has the highest infant mortality rate of any developed country in the world. What does that say about us? Does that tell the world that we don't value life? That medical care isn't important? With the talks of cutting Planned Parenthood funding I'd tend to agree with that statement. In our world it's becoming all about dollar signs. Love and life are no longer this countries values.

I am one of the lucky ones that has three beautiful children.

Gah, Friday, again.

Yesterday I did everyones laundry. So last night when it came time to do school, I didn't want anything to do with it. I was annoyed, but not surprised. Today annoyed or not, I need to do my Access project, so I don't have to deal with school this weekend.

Saturday I have a work training thing for a bit, and then the rest of the day is free. Sunday (if I can get my project done today) I won't have anything to do, but spend time with my awesome family.

I set a new rule in motion this morning with the older kids. Before they ask me if they can watch TV or play a game, they better have their stuff around the house (including their room) picked up. When they ask I'm going to go around looking to see if their things are picked up, for everything that belongs to them not picked up they are going to lose 10 minutes off their TV time. I'm tired of picking up after them if you can't tell.

When  I was putting laundry away today I had Kaylee up on the floor of her room. To get to the toys she wanted she was tucking her knees up and pushing herself forward a little. Crawling is not to far in her future. The days of a picked up house are soon to be over for awhile. You watch as soon as I get the older two trained to pick up their crap, the baby will be emptying the bookcase daily. Oh the joys of kids.

So this morning I've relaxed, this afternoon it's nose to the grindstone time.

Honesty/Change

Our society has a firm belief that people don't change. In our justice system once you've reached a certain point, they always think it's your fault. Some people change, most people don't, but some do. What gets me is when people lie. Lies are told to protect the way society views you, or to keep something shameful you've done a secret. Here is a tip, don't do anything you wouldn't print on the front page of the paper, and there would be no reason to lie. Why tell a lie to hurt someone you say you love? There are many answers to this, maybe you think the lie will hurt them less than the truth. Let me tell you from experience, that the truth hurts way less then a lie. I don't care how bad the truth is, it still hurts less then knowing someone feared you so much they could tell you the truth, or they didn't care enough to. There are people that can't help lying. They can't look themselves in the mirror, or maybe they've told so many lies they've forgotten the truth. How do we know if we are being told the truth, with so many people today not valuing honesty.

When my kids tell me lies, there are consequences. I am proud they do it less and less as time goes by, and they realize that they really do get in less trouble when they are honest. Change of course doesn't happen overnight.

Either people accept that the person has changed or they don't. If they can't accept it, they need to move on, stop hanging on to something that isn't there. I've been faced with making this hard choice, and it changed my life.

I'm not sure why some people make life so hard. Why everything has to be a fight, and why it always has to be "just right". Life is hard, there are bumps in the road and we all make mistakes along the way. I've hurt people. I've screwed up like we all have at some point in my life. I didn't do it to purposely hurt them, I did it to protect my kids. I made the choice to stop putting someone else's feelings above my own, and I haven't looked back. If you are going to put up road blocks, think about who it's really affecting. If you have a chance to change it, and you want to, you should even if changing it means admitting you lied, or that you were wrong.

Some people can't admit they've done wrong. If you ask me, I'll be the first to admit the things I've done wrong in my life, and I'll tell it all. Right down to being guilty of lying about some of my mistakes. I spent too much of my life living in fear. I'm proud of who I am. I don't live in anyones shadow, and if I don't like something I say so. If I'm having a bad day I know that I am entitled to be upset, frustrated or even angry. My feelings are just as important as everyone else's. I wish everyone could feel this way, but I know that it's not possible. There is always someone that hangs on to long, because they are in love. They have faith in their partner that things will work out and that they will change. Sometimes it happens, and they get their happy ending. Sometimes so many lies compound and someone innocent ends up in jail. Sometimes someone ends up dead, for ignoring a problem that proclaimed itself time and time again.

In a perfect world everyone would be happy. There would be no crime. We would all be honest, all the time, and no one would ever get hurt. Sadly, no such world exists.

Thirsty Thursday

Another Thursday, oh and more snow. We were supposed to get rain, and we may still get some, but right now it's snowing. I started out being productive right off today. I'm making baby food, carrots and squash. I can't make huge batches all at once, because I don't have enough freezer containers. I only have 4 things each containing 9 cubes. So I do small batches every few days. Saves us money, one avocado made 3 servings for her, and I'd like to see you find a jar of baby food with avocado in it. I never made it homemade with the other two, again I'll chock that one up to inexperience. If I had known how much money it would have saved I'd have been all over it. If we are introducing her to something new that I can buy in a jar, I'll get a couple jars to see if she likes it before I make a batch of it. That way if she hates it I haven't wasted time and all that food. I have yet to find something she won't eat.

The older two reluctantly went to school today. I got the impression from Julie that she would have rather had a snow day. Tyler is sooo ready for Spring. He told me this morning he's tired of the snow. That he likes playing in it, but this year we've just gotten too much. Coming from a 10year old, I told him he wasn't the only one. I'm ready for Spring, can't wait to go for walks again. Ready for the sunshine and warm breeze.

I have to come up with something to fix for supper. We have leftover pizza, but I can't do pizza twice in a row. So I'm thinking about pulling something out of the freezer and tossing it in the crock pot. It feels like a stew kind of day, with the snow falling and all.

Happy Thirsty Thursday Everyone! Enjoy the day!

Happy Hump Day.

I woke up today with the desire to not be awake. I've found that happens most days, at least until I've had my first cup of coffee. I got a little school done yesterday, and Jon and I got to watch a movie together last night. That's rare since most nights we are both too tired to do anything but go to bed.

I'm taking a behavioral Science class this term, and the topic this week is teen sexuality. I about died laughing when one of the articles talked about an abstinence vow. I mean seriously? I found several articles stating why this didn't work. With rising teen pregnancy, I think schools should focus on educating kids on protecting themselves, and about what can result from sex. Instead they try to teach abstinence only sex education. This is a topic I found interesting as in the next few years I'll have a teen. I think the most important way to teach teens about sex, is to talk to them. A lot of parents are too shy about the subject or don't know how to bring it up. So kids learn about sex via the internet, media, school and their peers. I can't think of anything scarier then my kids learning about sex, from other uneducated kids.

I don't have anywhere to go today. I don't need to leave the house for an appointment. We don't need anything at the store, and neither kid has any after school activity today. I'm hoping to bust through my Access project today that's due this weekend, or at least start it.

We have a wonderful friend bringing supper tonight. Delicious Papa John's pizza. I can't wait!!! It will be nice to be able to be social with another adult without having to leave the house, and deal with the rage that comes with the traffic. Nothing fills me full of rage more then idiot drivers.

I keep anxiously checking my school site, waiting for the last bit of financial aid to disperse. That way I can get rid of this paper weight pretending to be a laptop, and buy a laptop free of identity crisis's.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that, I guess that's what my Wednesday is going to be. Let's all hope for a good rest of the week, filled with productivity and sunshine. NO MORE SNOW!

Bright and Sunny Tuesday

Tuesdays are busy around here. Julie has ballet in the afternoons, so it's a trip out to drop her off and a trip out to pick her up. I had an appointment today, my nails are now all ready for St. Patricks Day. I stopped and picked up milk and a few other necessary staples. I hope to get some more school work done today, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I'm hoping that by Friday of this week, that I'm a little bit ahead of the things that I have due in the next couple of weeks. That will free up some time for me to focus a little on my business, and cleaning the house.

I'm hoping to get my first tattoo for my birthday this year. Let me tell you, I'm excited!!!!

Other then that there isn't much new here. The same daily activities, with different emotions and reactions to things. Everyones mood in the house changes from day to day. It keeps things interesting here. Listening to the baby strain to reach her toys on the floor. Too bad she won't learn how to be mobile, that would help her get whatever she wanted. Instead she has tired of being on the floor with her toys and is on my lap watching me type, and desperately trying to help.

I think she's tired, so I'm going to wrap this up. You all have a wonderful Tuesday!

Snowy Monday/Weekend Reflection

Well, it's Monday again. I needed to go to the post office today, but with over 2ft of snow, I think I'll pospone my trip till tomorrow. Our family had a pretty busy weekend. With Julie's tea party on Saturday, and my PartyLite party on Sunday as well as Tyler's first soccer practice afterwards. My husband said the roads were awful last night, when he was taking Ty to his practice and bringing him home. This morning we woke up buried in snow, with school canceled. So the older kids are watching a movie, I'm working on getting my work stuff set up, and at some point I have laundry and school to do. Typical busy Monday, except all three kids are here instead of just one.

I'm so excited for this new business I've gotten into. I'm hoping I can get it off the ground. The product is awesome it's just getting my name out there.

This week I have a few things due for school, and I hope to get a head start on the things that are due later in the month. I hate putting it off to the last minute, because then I get stressed out when I don't have the time to do it till 3hrs before it's due. Then I feel rushed, and like I wasn't able to do my best work.

So here I sit, listening to my husbands rage against our internet that seriously sucks, with Chicken Little playing in the background. I'm looking for my motivation to either start school or laundry. I'm hoping I find some soon.

I hope everyone has a great Monday, stay safe in this icky weather, and if you life where it's warm, well screw you and send the sunshine my way. =)

Saturday/Sunday Adventures.

Today I put on a skirt, a nice shirt and dress boots. For those of you that know me well are now wondering why I did this. Julie's ballet school was doing a Fancy Dress Doll and Me Tea Party. So I dressed up, Julie dressed up and so did her doll Kaycee. They did an awesome job organizing it. There were different stations for the girls to do different activities. Nail painting, doll hair doing, doll necklace making, and they even made baretts one for the doll and one for the kid. They took their pictures with their dolls and at the end after we ate they had them make frames for the pictures. At the end in the dining area  they served little cinnamon rolls, sandwiches, cold cuts and cheese, marshmallows on a stick and oreo cakes (3 oreos together frosted). Julie had a good time, and I enjoyed watching her have fun. She got a balloon and a cookie to take home along with all the other things she made.

I did a little school today, and have relaxed with my family. Tomorrow is my PartyLite party at 2pm and Tyler's first soccer practice tomorrow night. Other then that this weekend I intend to relax.

Busy Business

So it's Thursday already. Where has this week gone? I have today and tomorrow to get my school stuff for this week out of the way. Saturday I'm taking Julie to her Doll and Me tea party, in support of her ballet school. Sunday I have my first PartyLite party, and then Tyler has his first soccer practice. Talk about a busy weekend. I'm not sure which is better a busy weekend or a boring one. A boring one at least I'd be able to sit down :).

I'm hoping to shake most of this cold before the weekend hits, since I'm going to be around a bunch of people. "Hey come to my house, and buy stuff, free cold included", not exactly a good business policy. The baby's nose is still running like a faucet, combine that with the drool and she easily soaks her shirt in no time.

So I'm looking for my motivation today. It's missing, although I have more today, then I had yesterday, I still don't have a lot. I was reading for school and feeding the baby cherrios. I should get some sort of multitasking award for that one.

I still need to figure out what I'm fixing for supper. I'm beginning to think with less food in the house, it's easier to decide. Less choices, less deciding what you feel like eating, because you eat what you've got. Having just gone food shopping yesterday, there are lots of options, which means the debate of what I feel like eating continues.

Time for me to wrap this up, stop procrastinating and attempt to get some of my stuff done. I hope you all have a great day.

Frustration/Helplessness

I usually don't post more then once a day, but today I'm making and exception. Forgive me if this is lengthy and makes little sense to most of you. It's difficult to explain, so let me start with the basics. When I feel something that emotion is mine. It's no one else's and no one else caused that emotion. My emotions are reactions, but no one person can forcibly make me feel anything. That being said, a child or young adult is not responsible for another child or young adults emotions. Nor can that child or young adult control how one of their peers controls their emotions.

As a parent I strive to teach my children how to handle their emotions. I don't hold them responsible for situations that they don't blatantly cause. There are times when kids are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Things happen beyond their control. As a parent think about how your child would feel, before accusing and saying things that could hurt them. Imagine how helpless you child felt, when they had NO control over what was happening. Helplessness is a terrible feeling. It's the same feeling we get when people we love are dying from things that we can't control. So before blaming, ridiculing and saying things that you may regret later. Remember, that child needs you, loves you, and looks to only you for EVERYTHING. Even if it means trusting them and backing them up in a situation that is questionable.

With pre-teens, teens, and even young kids a parents most important roll is to listen. Listening to your kids can tell you how they feel, and even what they need from you. When parents don't listen, they lose that vital communication that is so crucial through the changing teenage years.

I wish I were closer. Then maybe I could help more. Keep smiling that beautiful smile, because you have people that love you.

Squalls/Mid-Week Update.

Good news, Kaylee fell right back into her schedule. Since she is sick, she is napping a little more frequently. Mostly I think to catch up from pulling her, "MOM, OMG look at all the people." She is nosey, and didn't want to sleep, because there was too much going on. Now, she's paying for it. She's happy to be home, like we all are. Back to sleeping from 6pm-6am and napping every 1.5 to 2hr during the day. This is good for me since I'm up to 4 classes starting tomorrow, and I'm still recovering from a cold. I swear this cold has produced more sinus pressure, runny nose, mucus in the back of my throat then any cold I've had in awhile. Cold season this year has been AWFUL! Feels like there hasn't been a time yet this winter where everyone in the house has been healthy. Just another reason I hate winter. Oh yeah, and it's snowing again. Not the flurry, cute pretty flakes. The OMFG, wind blowing, can't see, be careful you don't want to die snow. I guess this is Vermonts version of a snow "squall" I demand birds to be falling out of the sky for them to call it a "squall". 

Jon had to go out today to get a new hose for the back of the dryer. It had popped of while we were on vacation, and it looked like a wolverine had chewed on it. It wasn't snowing when he left, but it was "squalling" (insert eye roll here) when he got home. He's an awesome husband though, he brought us home coffee from Duncan Donuts. I'm almost sad he's fixing the dryer. I had a legitimate reason I couldn't do laundry. I don't think that's ever happened. *sigh* All good things, must come to an end. 

The older kids went back to school today. Of course there had to be drama with Julie about what she wanted to wear. Let me give you a little background information here, so this "drama" makes sense. The bear she has had since she was almost two, got left in the hotel room. So, she's been a bit emotional since then. I ordered a new one, similar off Amazon on the way home and it got here yesterday. She said he would do perfectly, but yet there is still underlying drama. I also ordered her an American Girl doll before we left on vacation. She has a Doll and Me tea party to support her ballet school this coming Saturday. All she had were baby dolls. When I ordered this doll I ordered the doll and her matching dresses to wear to this tea party. That's where the drama came from this morning. She wanted to wear a dress to school. I'm pretty sure she wanted to wear the dress that was bought for Saturday. After Saturday I don't care if she wears it to school, but I don't want to try and get ketchup and marker out of it, so she can look decent for Saturday. So I helped her pick out a skirt, matching shirt, and tights. It took about 15 minutes for her to stop pouting and be okay with it. Gah, girls!!! I love my girls, but the emotional drama that goes along with a developing 8 year old I could totally do without. 

Tyler went and did the treadmill at Grammies for 40 minutes yesterday. He acted tired. I would not be surprised if he was considering on Sunday they spent from 10am-5pm in the water park there. He's sticking with eating healthy and is staying consistent with exercise. He starts soccer this Sunday. I bet by summer he'll be where he wants to be with his weight with little effort. 

I'm hoping to be where I want to be too, by bathing suit season. Considering to this water park I had to wear my maternity swim suit. I do NOT, want to talk about it. It was mostly because I'm still nursing and my other bathing suit tops made me look like a stripper. 

So I put off food shopping for another day for the snow "squalls". Stay in where it's warm and enjoy the peace and quiet while Kaylee naps. Pick up, clean up, do laundry and try and make it look like we live here again. Bust out some school so this weekend when I have other things to do, I won't be all stressed out with school hanging over my head. Yet another busy day in the life of the Moses Family. 

Another Month/Vacation

Time is going by so fast. Here we are already starting our third month of 2011. It's hard to believe.

We left for my Mom's on Friday, and drove there in a snow storm. A 4hr trip took us 6hrs, thank you slippery roads, but we made it there safe and sound. I got to hang out with my beautiful niece Trinity, my awesome sister Sam, her husband Chris, my brother Eric and his girl Cara, my brother Luke and my Mom and Dad. I miss them so much, and wish we saw them more often.

Saturday morning we left at around 2pm from my Mom's to head to the Six Flags Great Escape Indoor Water Park Lodge in Lake George. The kids faces were priceless when they realized where we were. They were so excited and happy. We went to check in (we were early) to find our room wasn't ready yet, so we went and picked up Subway for supper. We then went back to the hotel, checked in, and got unloaded and settled in our room. I have never seen the kids eat supper and change so fast in my life. We took them all to the water park for a bit. I stayed as long as baby allowed, and then I took her back up to the room to put her to bed, while Jon stayed in the water park with the older two. Sunday, Kaylee woke up in an ok mood, and then turned in to devil baby for the rest of the day. She spent a little time in the water and then needed a nap. I spent most of Sunday in the room with her, because she was being so awful. She couldn't go to bed soon enough that day. The older two on the other hand spent from 10am-5pm in the water park. There is a restaurant right in the area of the park so they didn't even have to leave to eat lunch. For supper that night we had Papa John's pizza. Oh how I missed that place. I used to eat it all the time in Utah. Their garlic dipping sauce is the BEST. Monday was check out day, so after getting up we started packing up. Kaylee was good a little longer, at least long enough for Jon and I to catch a shower, and all of us to go down and have breakfast. After that it was time for her to nap, she wasn't having it. It was really close to check out, so even if she had fallen asleep, she wouldn't have been able to finish her nap there anyway. I put her in the wrap, we both checked the room over, and didn't see anything we missed, and we check out. We were allowed to stay in the water park till two, so the older kids changed before we left the hotel room and we let them have some time playing before we left. I walked around the lobby with Kaylee in the wrap, hoping she would nap so she could play in the water one last time before we left. She napped for about a half hour, before some stupid family came and sat where I was sitting with her and said "awwww look at the baby" with their obnoxious two kids. Thanks strangers for waking up my infant. Assholes! Anyhow, I took her into the water park we changed and got in the water for a little bit, but it was way over chlorinated and cold, so we weren't in long before she started fussing. I got her out, gave her lunch, and then we showered and got dressed. It weren't long after that, that we got the older two rounded up and got them showered and dressed. We headed to go eat, but the place we wanted to eat was closed. So we hit up Subway again, stopped at Walmart for a jar of baby food incase we weren't home in time for her to have her supper. Then we were headed home. We got home around 5:30pm and we both sighed and said we needed a vacation from our vacation. At least the kids had a blast, that's what matters the most.

The kids go back to school tomorrow, and I have to go food shopping tomorrow. Today Julie has ballet, and Tyler is back to using the treadmill. Kaylee seems to be falling back into her schedule even though she's sick. So I'm hoping to have a less stressful week this week, then I did last week.

I hope everyone has a great day!