Update/Tears

I started a blog entry earlier today, but never got a chance to finish it. Kaylee ended up waking up, and the kids got home from school. Speaking of Kaylee she is sick again. Running a fever or who knows what, I'll check that out in the morning. In the meantime she is asleep under the influence of Infants Advil.

Julie fell asleep on the couch, I'm pretty sure her and her brother were reading. I was trying to finish up my last two work orders. No school for me tonight, so I'm extra screwed the rest of the week. Awesome huh? Story of my life until school is over I've decided. I've marked the calendar for May 12th, that is my freedom date for this years classes. What I was all excited about in my previous blog, that I never got the chance to post, was that I have new tech. So finally no more fear of worrying that one morning I'm going to wake up and my computer just isn't going to work.

Today was the kids third day with no TV after school. They've only asked twice, once was to watch a family movie(I was proud I didn't give in). The second time was to play the Wii, Just Dance (I didn't give in to that either). I've decided the kids concentrate better on their homework when they know they can't watch TV. Tyler hasn't had to call home once this week so far. He even seems happier, and is a little easier to deal with.

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When we leave this world how do we know we've left our mark? How do we know we will be remembered? Our loved ones will have memories and photos, their children will have photos and hopefully stories. The women in my family are stubborn. I'm proud of that. We get something in our mind and that's that. My Grandma Fullam taught me that a woman should let no man run her life. She might not realize it, but she plays a strong role in who I am today. She never let anyone stand in her way, and if she felt it was wrong she spoke up and spoke up loud. She's always been there even if I didn't think I could call her. Oh how I wish I hadn't been so stubborn, but I learn from the best right? My Mom is the same way, her and Grandma have had their share of fights going stretches without talking. I guess being stubborn runs in the blood. I am going Monday to have to say Goodbye to this sweet woman. As I type it, my throat knots up, I wish I could cash in all the time wasted. I always struggle wanting to fix everything. I hope she recognizes me still. I hope she knows how very much I love her, and how very much the time I spent with her means to me. She's not gone yet, but everyone says they don't know when, and it won't be long. I wish she didn't have to go, but I don't want her to have to suffer anymore.